A blockable step against the descent into Hell
A happy moment of my childhood was the movie “Song of the South”. When I saw master macrobiotic teacher Michio Kushi in Boston, he advised me to sing a happy song every day. That movie contains 1 of the best happy songs: ‘Zippety Doo Dah’–I advise everyone to go to YouTube to see and hear Uncle Remus singing it so wonderfully. An alternative is to come to my office and let me sing a different happy song: ‘Four Leaf Clover’ to you.
When presenting my slide presentation ‘The Unhappening of Heart Disease’ (like in the movie ‘Jackie Brown’, I am trying to be too cool for school by saying the neologistic ‘unhappening’) I address ‘The Cause of the Causes’ for why most diseases occur. There are 5 Basic Activities which, when not done correctly, are the multiple-diseases causing 5 Basic Errors: Breathing, Drinking, Eating, Exercising, and in this discussion with regard to the title above, the relevant Unrealistic Expectations as the cause of stress, anxiety, and depression.
Unrealistic Expectations: going back to the movie “Song of the South”, Br’er Rabbit is captured by the Fox who believes he is going to finish Br’er Rabbit off/permanently get rid of him by throwing him into the very prickly/dangerous looking briar patch which is actually the comfortable neighborhood that Br’er Rabbit lives in and is used to. Recall that the Fox is thinking like you and me about how terrible and all scratched up that prickly briar patch would be for us to get tossed into.
We humans are often dealt some rather nasty circumstances that could affect us emotionally leading to stress, anxiety, and depression. Recall the song “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” which, of course, implies the beauty of roses but that beauty may remain completely out of reach for you-in life there are seldom any guarantees, there are ”no promises”, just reality to be dealt with and often painfully.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. What does the captain of the ship say when the ship is sinking: “Every man for himself.” In life, each person is responsible for themself and what comes thereafter. Do not count on relief, help, or protection-that is reality. For instance, imagine yourself in this scenario: think about the dedication, perseverance, determination of a 1650’s American Pioneer who goes out to the edge of the wild Frontier, clearing the land, and then facing all the vicissitudes of weather-hostiles-childbirth dangers and family mortality-crop failure obstacles but then having the freedom and strength that comes from that determination, self-reliance, and cleansing effort.
My high school football coach Robert Auble said it correctly: winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win. ‘Perseverance is everything.‘
So how are we to deal in the healthiest and most successful fashion with those terribly difficult circumstances that can affect us so profoundly tending to cause stress, anxiety, and depression when we are so confronted? Most of us will simply accept the difficulties of life, not focus on our own wishing-wanting-hoping, which, like alcohol, are only safe in small doses, and then necessarily persevere with HUMILITY and so thereby dealing with the problems of everyday life. Not happy and perhaps remaining upset, but still realistic and even evenhandedly recognizing the required path of action which may or may not be successful offering relief, resolution, or NOT: the breaks of the game.
Although crude but effective the saying goes “Shut up and deal with it.” That response may seem unsympathetic/not empathetic, but in truth it will be where those who are enduring stress, anxiety, and depression end up when those difficult circumstances have cleared or are dealt with as best possible, and then moving on in life. There may not be a happy ending but as in the 1759 novel ‘Candide’ by Age of Enlightenment philosopher Voltaire, Pangloss says to his student Candide: “It is the best of all possible worlds” (originally said by polymath Gottfried Liebnitz). Whether it is or is not this or the other kind of world, it is what it is and must be dealt with as best possible in order to avoid or minimize stress, anxiety, and depression.
Said far more eloquently by Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran:
“The Moving Hand writes; and having writ
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
MINDFULNESS: Arch Int Med 171:1585 9/26/11: is the purposeful, nonjudgmental ability to notice and observe occurrences in the moment, to decrease reactivity to difficult situations, and to initiate better/less negative thinking or counterproductive action–hesitate (eating or smoking, … ) with awareness and intention. Become aware of all incoming thoughts and feelings. Accepts these thoughts and feelings but learn to not attach or react to them. Just sit/stand there: observe these old friends (? frenemies). When distressed, exposed to a simple cue/thought, or simply when hungry we return to a pattern of automatic thinking and acting that can trigger eating, anxiety, or even depression and anger. The goal of mindfulness is to interrupt automatic processes/teach people to focus less on reacting to incoming feelings or hunger or any/all negative stimuli that start counterproductive thinking and actions: patience: “this too will pass.” Instead, accept and observe these thoughts, patterns, even hunger/cravings without judgment: allow yourself to just patiently notice/be aware when these automatic processes start. Direct attention to the present moment (that means “now”) before you do anything. Watch/learn/observe and alter your counterproductive or negative reactions. Let them just be a thought, a reflection, and not become an internal feeling, anxiety, depression, or unfulfilled hunger leading to counterproductive thinking or action (eating, smoking, “acting out”).